101 of the Best Wine Quotes & Captions to Inspire, Humour & Make You Thirsty

Who doesn’t have some funny wine quotes to help create some laughter, to inspire or to help market your brand on places like Instagram. Below is a collection of my favourite funny and famous quotes about wine that you can customise as stickers to use around your house, in your marketing, or as Instagram captions.

Grab a glass and enjoy these delicious wine sayings:

Funny wine quotes

1. “I googled my symptoms… It turns out I need a bottle or three of wine.” – Casey Bryan
2. “Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.” – Anonymous
3. “Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” – Pope John XXIII
4. “Husbands are like wine; they take a long time to mature.” – Letters to Juliet (2010)
5. “So who is this “Moderation” everyone tells me to drink with?” – Annonymous
6. “Compromises are for relationships, not wine.” – Sir Robert Scott Caywood
7. “What wine goes with Captain Crunch?” – George Carlin (comedian)
8. “One should not talk while one is waiting for wine.” – Pietro Aretino (Italian Renaissance writer, known for his satire)
9. “Therapy is expensive. Wine is cheaper.” – Anonymous
10. “It’s better to have loved and lost than to live the rest of your life sober.” – Ernest Hemingway (American novelist)
11. “Wine is the answer. What was the question again?” – Groucho Marx (comedian)
12. “Dear wine, you’re always there for me. When I’m happy, we celebrate. When I’m sad, we commiserate. When I have nothing to say, well, we just drink.” – Anonymous

Famous quotes about wine

1. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C. Fields
2. “If anyone orders Merlot, I’m leaving. I am not drinking any fucking Merlot!”- Sideways (2004)
3. “Beer is made by men, wine by God.” – Martin Luther
4. “In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.” – Napoleon Bonaparte
5. “Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.” – Benjamin Franklin
6. “Wine is the only artwork you can drink.” – Luis Fernando Olaverri
7. “Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant, every day more civilized.” – André Simon
8. “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.” – Louis Pasteur
9. “Age appears to be best in four things: old wood to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.” – Francis Bacon
10. “Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” – Benjamin Franklin
11. “Wine is sunlight held together by water.” – Galileo Galilei
12. “Wine is the most civilized thing in the world.” – Ernest Hemingway
13. “God made only water, but man made wine.” – Victor Hugo
14. “Wine is the intellectual part of a meal, while meat is the material.” – Alexandre Dumas
15. “Wine is a living liquid containing no preservatives. Its life cycle comprises youth, maturity, old age, and death. When not treated with reasonable respect, it will sicken and die.” – Julia Child
16. “I drink Champagne when I’m happy and when I’m sad. Sometimes I drink it when I’m alone. When I have company, I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I’m not hungry and drink it when I am. Otherwise, I never touch it, unless I’m thirsty.” – Lily Bollinger
17. “Wine is like the incarnation – it is both divine and human.” – Paul Tillich
18. “The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.” – Benjamin Franklin
19. “One not only drinks wine, one smells it, observes it, tastes it, sips it, and—one talks about it.” – King Edward VII
20. “Wine is bottled poetry.”- Robert Louis Stevenson
21. “Wine is water, held together by sunshine.” – Galileo
22. “A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine.” – Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
23. “If you can’t explain it to a six-year-old, you don’t understand it yourself. Except for wine. Wine is complicated.” – Albert Einstein

Inspirational wine quotes

1. “Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.” – Alexander Fleming
2. “Wine, it’s in my veins and I can’t get it out.” – Burgess Meredith
3. “Every time I open a bottle of wine, it is an amazing trip somewhere.” – José Andres
4. “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”- Benjamin Franklin
5. “The best way to learn about wine is by drinking.” – Alexis Lichine
6. “With wine and hope, anything is possible.” – Spanish proverb
7. “Wine cheers the sad, revives the old, inspires the young, and makes weariness forget his toil.” – Lord Byron
8. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.” -Louis Pasteur
9. “Wine is one of the most civilized things in the world and one of the most natural things of the world that has been brought to the greatest perfection, and it offers a greater range for enjoyment and appreciation than, possibly, any other purely sensory thing.” – Ernest Hemingway
10. “Age and glasses of wine should never be counted.” – Italian proverb

Wine quotes about life

1. “Life is too short to drink bad wine.” – Anonymous
2. “Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.” – Paulo Coelho
3. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” – Joan Collins
4. “We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine.”- Eduardo Galeano
5. “Either give me more wine, or leave me alone.” – Rumi
6. “I only drink Champagne on two occasions, when I’m in love and when I’m not.”- Coco Chanel
7. “Wine and friends are a great blend.”- Ernest Hemingway
8. “Where there’s a wine, there’s a way.” – Anonymous
9. “Home is where the wine is.” – Anonymous
10. “What do friends and wine have in common? The older, the better.” – Anonymous
11. “Drinking good wine with good food in good company is one of life’s most civilized pleasures.” – Michael Broadbent
12. “Love, like wine, gets better with time.” – Anonymous
13. “Spilling a glass of wine is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.”- Anonymous

Wine quotes for Instagram

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1. “I drink and I know things.” – Tyrion Lannister
2. “Working nine to wine.” – Anonymous
3. “Wine flies when you’re having fun.”- Anonymous
4. “Love the wine you’re with.”- Anonymous
5. “A meal without wine is called breakfast.” – Anonymous
6. “You look like I need wine.” – Anonymous
7. I only drink wine on days that end with a “y.” – Anonymous
8. “You only live once—so drink great wine.” – Anonymous
9. “A good day starts with good coffee and ends with good wine.” – Anonymous
10. “Where there is no wine there is no love.” – Euripides
11. “I love everything old—old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wine.” – Anonymous
12. “A gourmet meal without a glass of wine just seems tragic.” – Kathy Mattea
13. “Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector.” – Graham Greene
14. “Wine, because no great story ever started by someone eating a salad.” – Anonymous
15. “I shall drink no wine before it’s time! OK, it’s time.” – Groucho Marx
16. “It’s time to wine.” – Unknown
17. “Wine not? It’s grape to be alive!”
18. “I’m aging like fine wine, getting better with time.”
19. “I’m on cloud wine.”
20. “Sip happens, just wine your way through it.”
21. “I’m grapeful for this wine-tastic moment.”
22. “Wine a little, laugh a lot.”
23. “Pour decisions make the best stories.”
24. “Wine flies when you’re having fun.”
25. “You had me at merlot.”
26. “Life is too short to drink bad wine.”
27. “Wine a bit, you’ll feel better.”
28. “Wine not, it’s five o’clock somewhere.”
29. “Let’s raise a glass and make pour decisions together.”
30. “Wine: because adulting is hard.”
31. “Wine-ding down with my favorite glass.”
32. “Wine: the answer to all of life’s pressing grape-stions.”
33. “I’m not a wine expert, but I’m willing to learn by tasting.”
34. “Wine is my spirit animal.”
35. “I make pour decisions… mainly about which wine to try next.”
36. “Keep calm and wine on.”
37. “Wine not seize the day?”
38. “I’m aging gracefully, just like a fine wine.”
39. “Love the wine you’re with.”
40. “Wine: the best cure for a case of the Mondavi’s.”
41. “I’m in a committed relationship with wine. It’s a grape match!”
42. “Pouring my heart and soul into each sip.”
43. “Wine, an elixir that awakens the senses and ignites the spirit.”

Quotes about Champagne

1. Lily Bollinger was asked “When do you drink champagne?”, and she replied: “I only drink champagne when I’m happy, and when I’m sad. Sometimes I drink it when I’m alone. When I have company, I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I am not hungry and drink it when I am. Otherwise I never touch it – unless I’m thirsty”.
2. Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne. – Dorothy Parker
3. I am drinking the stars! – Dom Perignon, on his first sip of bubbly Champagne
4. In victory, you deserve Champagne, in defeat, you need it. – Napoleon
5. There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne. – Bette Davis (from the movie Old Acquaintance)
6. Champagne is the only wine that leaves a woman beautiful after drinking it. – Madame De Pompadour
7. Champagne’s funny stuff. I’m used to whiskey. Whiskey is a slap on the back, and champagne’s a heavy mist before my eyes. – Jimmy Stewart (from the movie The Philadelphia Story)
8. I drink champagne when I win, to celebrate . . . and I drink champagne when I lose, to console myself. – Napoleon Bonaparte
9. The feeling of friendship is like that of being comfortably filled with roast beef; love is like being enlivened with Champagne. – Samuel Johnson

What are your favourite wine quotes? Drop them in the comments below.